


Pour Myself Into You

by scifigeek14



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, EVERYONE IS ALIVE AT THE END, Gen, Happy Ending, I'm marking it thorki cause there is a kiss, Infinity Gauntlet, Infinity War AU, Its shippy, Loki becomes a vengful god for a bit and messes with reality, M/M, Thor dies for a little bit, but its not romantic?, fuck thanos, then thor comes back and they live happily ever after, thor is dying and there is a purpose for it, who am I kidding, written before infinity war came out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 00:21:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14249013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scifigeek14/pseuds/scifigeek14
Summary: In the end it wasn’t Ragnarok that killed the King of Asgard. It was a foot soldier of Thanos, with a sharp spear and a quiet gait. It was as if the entire fight paused to watch Thor fall. Loki felt himself fall with him. He and the Hulk both let out a roar.When Thor falls in battle, Loki doesn't handle it well.Note: Thor doesn't stay dead permanently. I don't do that. I like to have my cake and eat it too.





	Pour Myself Into You

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: If you haven’t seen this deleted scene from the first Thor film, it’s referenced. https://youtu.be/P23aKF-694k?t=1m49s
> 
> Also, in case you missed it in the tags: thor dies for a bit, then he comes back, there is some shippy thorki stuff if you're into that. Also, some graphic bits of gore are in there cause its a battle.

 

In the end it wasn’t Ragnarok that killed the King of Asgard. It wasn’t even Thanos, the monstrous beast of a creature who had held Thor’s entire head in one hand not two days ago. It was a foot soldier of Thanos, with a sharp spear and a quiet gait. It was a foot soldier who snuck up behind Thor in the middle of the chaotic battle and plunged the tip of his blade through the back of Thor’s armor, through the muscle and tendons and bone, eviscerating him inside, and leaving behind a hole where his stomach had been.

There was a moment, when it happened, right after the soldier had pulled the spear back out, when time seemed to slow. It was as if the entire fight paused to watch Thor fall. Loki felt himself fall with him. He and the Hulk both let out a roar. Loki barely recognized that it came from his own throat. He clawed at the wet earth beneath him, trying to gain purchase, to scramble to where Thor had fell.

Loki was only a few meters away, but the Hulk got there first. He grabbed the soldier responsible and tore him limb from limb, sending the bloody halves in different directions and showering the battle below with blood and viscera. It was brutal. It was fitting. In his rage, the Hulk did not stop there, flattening anyone who dared to draw near—all except Loki, who crawled to kneel at his brother’s head.

Thor’s body was heaving with the effort to keep breathing. Loki gently pulled him close and wrapped his arms around his brother’s form, careful not to shift him too much or cause him extra pain. Thor’s lone eye opened to look up at him. Thanos could have waltzed right over and slit his throat with a pocket-knife and Loki wouldn’t have looked away from his brother’s gaze in that moment.

“Thor?” He had to lean close to be heard over the din of the battle happening around them.

“Loki?” Thor responded in kind. One of his hands was pressed over his wound and the other reached to grab at Loki’s leathers. Thor caught purchase at his shoulder; the other hand squelched in a puddle of blood. Both their hands were wet with it.

“I’m here, brother.” He answered, forcing a calm tone through the grip of his panic. “Let’s go and get you some medical aide, okay? Come and lean on me.” Thor shook his head, his body unresponsive to Loki’s weak tugs and yanks.

“No, brother. It’s too late.”

“Shut up. No. You aren’t dying here,” Loki insisted, his voice angry and desperate, “so get up because you’re too heavy for me to lift.”

“It’s my time, Loki.”

“Screw your time!” He spit his words so violently that he sprayed them onto Thor’s face. Thor didn’t seem to mind.

“It’s okay,” Thor assured him, patting his shoulder, “I’ll be with mother and father.”

“Thor, this isn’t funny.” Loki scolded him, as if telling him off would some how change what was happening. As if it was all some big prank to get back at him for the tricks he’d pulled in their youth. “I know you’re still upset about the time I died on you, but this isn’t the time for pay back. Stop it. Stop it now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“If you’re sorry, you’ll stop dying!” Loki knew that he sounded ridiculous and petulant, pleading with a dying man to stop dying. He also knew that he didn’t deserve the patient and fond smile that Thor gave him in response.

“I don’t think I can do that.” His voice sounded tight and breathy: un-thor-like.

“You’re all I have left.” Loki whispered, leaning lower and closer. His tangled and blood-matted hair fell down, blocking their faces like a mourning veil. “Don’t leave me alone.”

“Oh, Loki.” Thor sighed, “I’m not leaving you alone. I’ll always be there with you.” He slid his hand from Loki’s shoulder down to his chest and patted him there, right above his heart. “Right here.”

It was sentimental and sappy and so stupid… and so Thor. Loki felt a wave of dread claw its way up his throat from the spot Thor patted. It lodged there, just under his tongue and behind his teeth. His jaw clenched, and he fought against a sob. “Thor.” He choked out instead, needing to say his brother’s name, trying to call him back to stay.

“Look after our people. They’ll look to you now. Be a good king. I know you have it in you.” Thor’s breath was coming out in pants. His eyes, usually full of thunder and brimstone, looked faded and dull—like he was already dead and haunting Loki from the grave. Loki hated it.

“I can’t. Thor, I can- I can’t do this without y- you.” Loki found himself panting too. Panic wrapped around his spine and stabbed through his lungs.

“Of course, you can. You don’t need me. You’re strong.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You will be. Promise me you’ll protect our people.” Loki pressed his eyes closed and shook his head. If he didn’t look then it wouldn’t be real. He wouldn’t be holding his brother as he died. Thor, who had always seemed immortal and untouchable in his golden confidence, would just be fine if Loki never opened his eyes again. “Look at me!” Thor raised his voice and it made him cough. Loki’s eyes flew open. Thor was still dying. “Promise me.”

“Thor.”

“Promise.”

“I promise.” For who would deny a dying man his last wish? Loki, who had always done his best to deny Thor everything, suddenly realized that he would give Thor the world if he but asked.

“Good.” Thor breathed, his shining smile returning. It was a smile Loki knew better than his own. It never faltered when Thor shifted his broken body to reach up and cup Loki’s face with his hand. “Never doubt that I love you.”

It was a phrase that Loki had said to Thor so long ago. It stung to hear his own words given back to him, especially knowing that when he’d said them to Thor it had been right before he’d betrayed his trust, in an act that had started them out on this long path to begin with. Looking back, he couldn’t even be sure if he had meant them at the time. He meant them now but could not speak to tell Thor so. His throat stopped up with grief. He hoped his tears conveyed the message as they dripped down on to Thor’s cheeks.

“Now, give us a kiss.”

When Loki had said this back then he’d been joking, trying to get a rise out of Thor and lighten the mood. Thor, apparently, was entirely serious.

He slid his hand up into Loki’s hair and grabbed a fist full of the dark locks. He pulled Loki down until the scant inches between their faces disappeared and left their lips pressed together. It was messy—Thor’s lips loose with exhaustion, Loki’s mouth tight with surprise, tasting of blood and tears.

Loki’s whole body locked up, his eyes wide and startled. He felt something white and hot rush through his entire body from his lips to his toes. As first, he thought it an inappropriate reaction to his dying brother’s kiss, but he quickly realized that what he was feeling was something else entirely. It crawled through him, blossoming like a vine, and wrapped itself around his seidr. As soon as it touched his own, he recognized the feel of Thor’s lightning seidr humming through his veins like the static before a storm.

He wasn’t sure anymore if his eyes were open or pressed closed because all he could see was white and bright. It was like staring into the sun, only the sun was inside his iris. And when it faded and settled, Thor was gone, laying limp in his arms.

Thor, his brother, who had never trained in the theory of magiks or learned the old ways—not in the way Loki did—with his last breath had gifted Loki his lightning. And Loki would use it to avenge him. It was fitting he do so, seeing as he was fighting along side those who called themselves Avengers.

“Loki.” It was the spy, Natasha, who was the first to approach him. It was unsurprising that she had been the first allowed past the rampaging Hulk. Loki didn’t look up at her words. “I’m sorry. I promise, when this is all over, we’ll make sure that he gets everything that he deserves. We all cared about him. We’ll take care of it. But there is a war going on right now. It’s not the time to mourn.”

“I know.” Loki barely recognized the sound of his own voice. Rage boiled in him like molten silver and choked him like a noose.

“Good. So, if you want to help me to clear-”

“Get out of my way.”

“Excuse me?” Loki finally looked at her. She had approached him carefully, like a wild animal, like he was the Hulk. It was a smart choice on her part, because his furor was wild and hulking. It was tearing at him on the inside, and he was tired of containing his madness.

“Tell all your little friends that if they don’t want to die in the crossfire they should stay out of my way.” He warned.

“What are you planning to do?” She asked, but she didn’t look like she planned on trying to stop him.

Loki gently laid Thor down and stood from the mud. “I’m going to destroy him.”

He reached within himself and used his own seidr to guide Thor’s lightning to the surface. It came quickly and willingly; just like Thor, it was ready to fight. It was hot, like blood. Loki was drenched in it. It tasted like metal on his tongue and it pressed down on him with Thor’s strong hands. He looked to the battlefield in front of him and it all suddenly seemed so simple.

He moved so quickly that it felt like he was flying; maybe he was.

The lightning crackled out of him from the tips of his fingers and the ends of his hair. Countless faceless bodies fell as he found his path. Most of Thor’s friends chose to fall back. Only the truly reckless ones, the ones the most like Thor, joined him at his side: The Hulk, Valkyrie, the man in the metal suit. Even the brave and noble Captain America stepped back when Loki reached the field where he’d been fighting Thanos.

The four of them flanked the monster of a man—if he even could still be called a man. He laughed at them when Iron Man blasted him with a laser. His laughter didn’t make Loki hesitate as it once would have. He used the opportunity of his distraction instead, to materialize several large and jagged spears with chains attached at their ends. He sent them flying to stab into Thanos at a speed quicker than his Infinity Stones could guard against. He silently thanked his mad sister for the weapon inspiration. He felt as though he was fighting with the aid of his entire family at his back. Odin’s skill for battle, Thor’s lightning and determination, and Frigga’s magical talents which she’d instilled in Loki as a child where all there with him in that moment. Even his Jotun father was there with him, as he let ice creep from his hands and down the chains to where Thanos stood skewered.

In the breath of time that Thanos felt the pain from the impalement, the ice crystalized over his pulsing purple hide and froze his feet to the ground with a layer of permafrost that would take weeks to melt. The thick layers of ice crackled and cracked as Thanos tried to access his gauntlet—the stones. They were the source of all this chaos and all this pain. Without his armies, the stones were his only source of power. And, Loki knew them well. They’d all been briefed on their powers before the fight had begun, but out of all of those fighting there today, he knew them the most well. He’d fought against the aether. He’d traveled with the tesseract. He’d harnessed the power of the mind stone. He knew their powers and their weaknesses. Several could be accessed by mind or by magic, by force of will—if not fully then partially so. But some, to pull off certain tricks, needed to be touched or be touched to something to do their work. This was their weakness. Loki had been on the other side of this fight, relying on artifacts and tools instead of his own power. Now, he needed no such impedimenta. And this was Loki’s opening.

As Thanos reached out for the top of the gauntlet with his free hand, slowed by the ice covering his body in thick sheets, Loki unleashed his—no—their lightning like a whirlwind of fire. The lightning coursed through the brute, locking his his muscles and freezing him more effectively than even the ice had. It only lasted for a brief moment, but it was enough. Loki summoned another sword and slashed down, slicing clean through Thanos’s meaty wrist.

The stone which had once been called the aether reacted as a failsafe, throwing out a forcefield which shoved them all back. But the damage had been done. The gauntlet fell to the ground with a heavy thump. With an echoing war cry the Hulk was upon Thanos, smashing him into the ground and yelling: “YOU KILL HULK FRIEND. HULK SMASH YOU!”

Loki left Thanos to his fate and made for the gauntlet with a singular focus. When he reached it, he felt—rather than saw—everyone around him pause to watch. Everyone, besides the Hulk, of course.

“Oh, great,” Tony Stark said through his suit’s intercom, “Now _Loki_ has the power to destroy everything. And, his moral compass is dead.”

Loki paid him no heed. He didn’t want the whole glove. He only needed two stones: The Time stone and the Soul stone. One with the power to turn back time and one to affect the reality of a soul. He wasn’t sure that it would work, but Thor hadn’t been sure he could transfer his lightning powers—Loki was sure of that much—and that had worked for him. Maybe he just needed a little faith and a lot of luck. Just like his older brother.

“No! Don’t touch them directly!” Loki didn’t notice who it was who yelled it, but someone shouted a warning as he reached for the stones’ casing. He ignored it. And it burned.

By the Norns, it burned. He thought that he might have cried out in pain, but he couldn’t hear it at all. He felt like he was dying. He probably was dying. He watched his hands turn blue where they touched the stones, reverting back to his Jotun form as he lost control of the illusion that kept his Aesir facade in place. He was sure he looked very startling indeed.

The pain felt numbing. He stood, one stone in each fist. His hands were burning. They were hot and they were cold at the same time. It felt… like lightning. Loki felt powerful. He felt invincible. He had the power to destroy all his enemies and drown the world in fire. And he thought only of his brother.

He walked to Thor. Or maybe he floated. Or maybe he just arrived there, over his brother’s still form. Thor was a vast chasm—empty where he should have been full, worn thin and dulled where he should shine, dark where he should be light. But Loki would fix it. He would pour _himself_ out until Thor was full and overflowing.

Hands still holding those ancient stones, he knelt and pressed his closed fists to Thor’s chest. He leaned down and, gently, returned the kiss that Thor had gifted him. He held his lips there, closed his eyes, and breathed out.

…

And then, Thor breathed _in_.

“Loki?” Thor’s voice was a cool breeze. It washed over Loki. Loki wasn’t sure if he had ever stopped crying to begin with, but now tears stung at his eyes at the sound.

“I’m here brother.” His own voice sounded wild, foreign, and infinite, as though he shared it with the voices of the universe.

“Loki, you’re in pain.”

“Nothing hurts, Thor.” He shook his head. Thor was alive. “Not anymore.”

“Let go. Loki, you need to let go. It’s burning you alive.”

“It’s like lightning. Brother, it’s just like lightning.” Loki said, trying to explain. Trying to make him understand.

“Then, give it to me. I’ll take it from you.” Thor smiled at him. “I’m good with lightning.”

Thor put his hands over Loki’s and tugged gently at his clenched fingers. Loki couldn’t think of a reason to fight. He let his hands fall open and the two stones tumbled away. Their light faded away as they fell, and they landed the mud with a wet plop—two dull and unimpressive stones. Thor’s fingers took their place in Loki’s hands: A far more precious prize.

Loki smiled and then he collapsed onto his brother’s strong chest. Before he passed out, he could hear Thor’s heartbeat.

He awoke in the Avenger’s personal hospital, days later, with the Midgardian sorcerer and physician, Bruce (in de-Hulked form), and his brother leaning over him. He was called a hero and welcomed home with open arms. He was awarded honors along with the Avengers and made an honorary member, much to everyone’s extreme amusement. His brother’s lightning powers had returned to their proper owner. But, Loki could still feel it, crackling under his skin, like static. It sparked at the tips of his fingers to let him know that it was there, if he ever needed it. He hoped he never would.

**Author's Note:**

> See?? Happy ending! I promised! 
> 
> Still working on my conversations series.  
> Considering writing a chapter fic which would go FULL thorki about Loki returning to Jotunhiem to claim his rightful inheritance and learn about his roots and meet his mom and stuff.  
> But it would be a BIG project and I have some other stuff I need to finish up first (in other fandoms).  
> But lemme know if that's something you'd be interested in.


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